Where the blue hell have I been?

For as much as I ride - which isn't all that much, all things considered - it seems as though I only find myself on this blog to flagellate myself about not being on the bike.  When I first started this sordid exercise of velo-centric navel contemplation, I told myself that disciplined, regular entries would be vital to keeping myself involved and evolving.  That I had to maintain my own momentum.  But now, after the last time we spoke - which consisted entirely of me whinging about the incessant cold rain and my declining to ride in inclement weather - I find myself yet again blowing off a group ride because it's wet and chilly out.

I love when things turn full circle.

So at least I have the opportunity to ask myself where I've been these past couple of weeks.  And upon contemplation, I have to conclude that I was pretty much fast asleep.  I had worked out a good riding schedule for myself, with a couple of early morning solo rides to fool myself into thinking I'm getting stronger, and a long group ride on Saturday to demonstrate how deluded I really am; sprinkled throughout the week I went down to the basement and threw some weights around, mainly because I finally figured out how to do a dumbell clean and press by watching videos on YouTube.

But I've discovered that my new, determined routine has two main effects on me: first, I find myself compelled to eat my weight daily, and second, when I'm not eating I'm sleeping.  The sofa now seems to exert an inexorable gravitational pull.  More than once my wife has come home to find me comatose on the couch, covered with a fine dusting of cracker crumbs, with my dog George happily nosing an empty Wheat Thins box around the floor underneath my unconscious outstretched hand.

Not a pretty picture, I'll admit.

Small wonder that, what with all that sleeping and eating, I haven't found time to collect my restive thoughts in quiet contemplation.  But I think I've turned a corner here.  I've got things worked out.  Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll now retire to my familiar spot on the couch with some buttered toast and coffee and watch the end of today's stage of the Giro d'Italia.

And I won't nod off to sleep.  See?  Progress!