My own worst enemy

I'm gonna head back out, I promise.  But right now I'm cursing my own worst enemy.  I headed out early this morning to go on a longish ride with some people from the shop. I'm not by nature an early riser, but I've been trying to get on the bike more, and more saddle time means getting up and out on the road in the dawning hours.  Unfortunately, that also means that I have to execute many small, precise tasks whilst still groggy and half-asleep.

Needless to say, I never pull this off. 

Fumbling into a pair of bib shorts slathered with cold euro-minty chamois cream in a darkened bedroom co-habitated by a light-sleeping wife who gets REALLY cranky if you awaken her a good three hours before her alarm goes off is a challenging way to start the day, I've discovered.  After that, it's a race against the clock - I always have, like six minutes max to get out the door before I'm late - to stuff my jersey pockets with all the sundry items I need on the ride, cram a couple fig newtons in my mouth for fuel, untangle the headphones to the ipod, and dash out the door.  Then the suspense begins: will I discover which vital item I've forgotten to bring by the time I reach my bike in my storage unit? by the time I clip in? a mile from home when it's too far to turn around?

Invariably, it's always something.  My personal favorite is the time I forgot to put my contacts in.  Yeah, that was a good one.  Reached the first stoplight trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes and realized I couldn't focus on a damn thing.

Or the time I forgot my keys, which I realized just as I was closing the security door.  I'm pretty sure Jess heard me banging on the back door eventually but didn't let me in out of spite.  I didn't even blame her really.  I well deserved my forced timeout on the back porch in my team kit watching the sun come up.

Today I realized I forgot my water bottle halfway to the shop.  I actually swore and banged my bars in frustration.  I HATE when I do that.  Hate it.  The ride invariably sucks, no matter what.  Ever try to down a gel with no water?  It's like coughing up a big loogey in church: it's just gross gulping it down.  Even better, though, as I swung back up north I realized I'd left my spare tube and repair kit behind, as well.  Anybody who's ridden with me (or read my last post) knows that I may as well have left my helmet and right shoe at home, so I cut my losses and headed back.

It's still early, though.  And it's my day off.  I can push grocery shopping and all those errands I gotta run back a few hours and finish my ride.  I think I'll just make some coffee first.  And have some granola.  And I'll pull George into my lap.  Hey, there's a new Behind the barriers  video up...

Addendum:  I actually did make it back out later that day.  And of course just before my turnaround point - or in other words the farthest I was from home - I got a rear flat.  At least I found a legitimate puncture this time, but enough is enough.  I've since gotten a new set of tires and have been rolling flat-free.  So far.  :Knocks wood: